Living Sacrifices

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—
this is your spiritual act of worship.
Romans 12:1

I am 38 weeks pregnant today. With two weeks left until my due date, and a mere 12 days until my scheduled C-section, I have finally realized that baby is coming soon - perhaps any day now. This pregnancy has not exactly flown by, but for much of it, I was distracted by other things: showing the house, trying to move, homeschooling and training the three blessings I already have. Only now, in these final days, has my focus turned inward to the wiggling, hiccuping creature whom I am soon to meet face to face.

And because I was distracted, and didn't even know which state we would be living in, for a long time I put off any serious discussion of this baby's birth. After my long and unsuccessful labor with Lydia ended in a Cesarean section, the doctor recommended that any future babies be likewise delivered surgically. Reportedly, my uterus was "unusually thin," and therefore at a greater risk of rupture. Uterine rupture, while not quite the internal combustion that it sounds like, is a serious health threat to mother and baby, and can end in blood transfusions, hysterectomy or occasionally death. While the risks of rupture for VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) are generally only around 1% or less, it is entirely possible that my personal risk may be much higher.

On the other hand, for most mothers who have had successful vaginal deliveries, VBAC is a good option. Recovering from natural childbirth is a much faster and less painful process than recovery from major abdominal surgery. And having numerous C-sections, for those of us who hope to be blessed with many children, carries risks of placenta previa and other problems caused by excessive scarring. So when I switched to a different obstetrical practice and said I would like a VBAC, all of the doctors and midwives I saw were very supportive. "You've done it before," one doctor said, "So why not?" They reviewed the risks of both options with me, as well as the precautions that would be taken with a VBAC (a doctor present in the hospital at all times, continuous fetal monitoring, etc.). Not once did they recommend elective surgery. And as someone who loves (in a strange way) the amazing sensations of natural childbirth, hated the painful recovery from a surgical birth, and hopes to bear many more children, I was prayerfully hoping to avoid another Cesarean.

The only problem? My loving husband, who watched me pass out after Hayden's birth and saw both of our boys born strangled in their umbilical cords, firmly believed that surgery is the safest option for me. After reviewing the paperwork and talking with one of my doctors about my history, his opinion was unyielding. My doctor reminded me that ultimately it is my body and my choice; I am the one who must give consent for elective surgery. While her advice seems logical, the Bible often contradicts our culture's idea of common sense, and this is no exception. Consider these words:

The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. - 1 Corinthians 7:4

In fact, my body does NOT just belong to me. It belongs to my husband, and to fight against his wishes for my body (as well as for our unborn child) is to fight against God's command for me to submit to my husband's authority (Ephesians 5:24). Even more importantly, my body belongs to the Lord. Despite my firm belief that birth is a natural and beautiful experience that many mothers have missed out on because of unnecessary medical interventions, I cannot claim that there is something holier about fighting for a vaginal birth over a surgical one. I may wonder why I, a willing laborer, am denied the opportunity to experience birth when so many other women want to avoid it, but then the Lord gently reminds me of my selfishness. How many women have suffered the pain of barrenness? Or of loss, to repeated miscarriages, a stillbirth, or the death of a child? How many suffer intense complications during pregnancy that steal their comfort and threaten their lives? In light of this, who am I - already a mother of three healthy babies - to complain if I don't get to choose the method my infant's delivery?

As I struggled with these thoughts, the Lord faithfully reminded me of Romans 12, one of my favorite passages of the Bible because its advice is so practical. "Offer your bodies as living sacrifices," Paul writes. Not, "Don't let anyone mess with your body." Not, "Protect your body and keep it healthy." But offer it as a sacrifice to the Lord, as an act of worship to Him. How beautiful! By choosing to submit to my husband, I can not only honor him, but also present a beautiful sacrifice to my Lord. The drugged aftermath of surgery, the weeks of abdominal discomfort, and the loss of any victorious birth I may or may not have experienced are tiny sacrifices to make. In God's mercy to me, He allowed His own son to suffer and die a humiliating death on a cross. When Jesus sacrificed everything for me, how selfish am I to resist any minuscule sacrifice of my own body for Him?

And so, I scheduled the C-section. Being a planner, there is a part of me that actually likes the stability of knowing the final possible date of baby's arrival. And being someone who loves interesting dates, I was very happy that the week of opportunity (it had to be scheduled sometime after 39 weeks) allowed me to choose 10/10 as this little one's birthday. Don and I agreed to schedule the surgery for the 10th, two days before my due date, but to allow a trial of labor if baby decides to come earlier and everything looks normal. And now we wait. I have had enough contractions in the past week to make me think that labor is imminent, but I also know that I am likely to meet this baby at a scheduled time and place. Either way, I know God is in control, and that my faith in His perfect timing will be tested in the next two weeks. Will I really trust Him to deliver this baby in His time, in His way? I pray that whenever and however this baby is born, that my actions will be holy and pleasing to God. May I bear children not for my own glory, but for His.

Journal: Year Seven, Week One

Monday March 1, 2010
“I’ve worked you over for six years. Now I’ll take a Sabbath year off,” Don teased me this morning. As of sometime between yesterday and today, we have been married for six years. Inspired by our recent reading in Leviticus, we joked about celebrating our 50th anniversary as our Year of Jubilee. I decided that to help me remember our seventh year of marriage, I will write a few sentences every day to record the days’ events, and that I will share some of these entries on my blog to give my readers a glimpse into our lives.

During school time, the children and I finished our W-w-Water unit with watercolor paintings and started our two week I-i-Insect unit. Everyone has been sick a lot this winter, and I definitely have a cold. At bedtime, Don surprised me with an anniversary card under my pillow. (To let you know how unexpected this was, the last anniversary card he gave me was when we had been together for one month!)

Tuesday March 2, 2010
Donny and Hayden painted rocks to look like ladybugs. We took a quick trip to the library to get the rest of our insect books after picking up Hayden’s nebulizer medication at the pharmacy drive-through. (The drive-through is recent discovery which I am very excited about...no more unbuckling three children and dragging them through the store just to pick up a prescription refill!) I made a pot roast for dinner. Then the children watched the library’s “Way Cool Creepy Crawlies” DVD with Daddy. I am reading The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel. Don is reading Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker, a book recommended to him by an old friend from gymnastics who owns a successful personal training business.

Wednesday March 3, 2010
Today our toddler friends Madalyn and Riley came over to play, as they usually do on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. Lydia sat in her new booster seat that Grandma and Grandpa sent her. I made almond protein bars, which were tasty, but didn't settle well with me. The children, especially Hayden, coughed a lot and had poor appetites most of the day.

Thursday March 4, 2010
We baked bread and caught up on laundry. Donny practiced reading with Lesson 38 in Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Hayden wanted to participate too, so I did Lesson 1 with him.

Friday March 5, 2010
It was sunny and nice out today, so for the first time since November, the boys got to play in the front yard after we came home from our weekly grocery shopping trip. I baked Six Layer Bars (substituting crushed pretzels for the graham cracker crumbs, since I didn't have any) and Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies for Grandma’s birthday party tomorrow.

Saturday March 6, 2010
Don and our friend Bill went to get some parts to fix our leaky boiler while I watched Bill’s son Owen. After visiting with them, we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house to celebrate Grandma and Auntie Crystal’s birthdays. Then Don and I went out to celebrate our anniversary at the firing line. It was my first time shooting a real gun (a Glock 19 that we rented). I had not anticipated how exceedingly loud it would be or how far the shells would fly, but we had a good time. I was excited when, after some practice, I hit the center of the target!

Sunday March 7, 2010
We went to church for Sunday School, but because the children were coughing too much to go in the nursery or sit in the service, we decided to come home during church time. We read fromThe MacArthur Daily Bible, watched “Naaman the Leper” on the Bible Adventures DVD, and sang some songs while Don played the guitar. Don, Donny, and Hayden went to Auntie Shelly and Uncle Nathan’s house to meet their new golden doodle puppy. Then we went back to church for youth ministry. The children stayed with Don and I while we taught the 11th and 12th grade teens in our new small group.

A verse from this week's readings:
"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Mark 10:6-9

I praise God for six years of marriage to my amazing husband, and for the blessings the Lord has brought out of our adventure together!

Blessed Work

First of all, I'm excited to be today's featured blogger on Lynnette Kraft's Getting to Know You event over at Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground. Welcome to everyone stopping by from Lynnette's! And for my regular readers, if you are looking for some other interesting blogs to read, be sure to check out the event every Monday and Friday to see what blogs Lynnette is featuring!

Our family also has some exciting news. Ever since we considered moving to Texas last summer, Don's resume has been posted online, although he has not been actively seeking a new day job. We bought our house in the town we wanted to live in, close to family and friends, knowing that the only drawback would be Don's hour long (longer with traffic!) commute across Massachusetts. Lately, he has been receiving lots of phone calls from recruiters who come across his resume online, but they are usually trying to fill contract or temporary positions that are just as far away. Since Don has been employed at a large software company for the past three years, he certainly would not consider leaving a steady job with excellent benefits for something temporary.

Then a couple weeks ago, he got a call about a job that sounded a bit more promising: a permanent, full-time position only half an hour away. Don went into the interview knowing that the company would have to make a good (translation: much higher paying) offer in order to make it worth leaving his current position. And less than two weeks later, that is exactly what happenned! After lots of prayer and mathmatical calculations, he decided to accept the new position that will cut his commute in half and greatly increase the time he spends at home.

As the sole wage earner in our family, has been coaching gymnastics five nights a week in order to make enough money for us to own our home, which has resulted in him being out of the house for about 14 hours every weekday. At this new job, even after deducting the increased cost of medical insurance, he will make enough money to comfortably support our family with just one job, which means he will no longer have to work nights. He keeps telling everyone that now he will be able to have dinner with his family every night - something that, because he has worked nights for much of our marriage, has never been the norm in our family. What a wonderful blessing for him to have more time with the family just as our family is about to grow!

And since he left his former day job and has a couple weeks before the new one starts, he is on a sort of vacation for a little while, which is another praise! With everything we want to accomplish around the house, having him home for more than a few weekend hours will be very beneficial. The boys love being able to spend extra time with Daddy, too. If you don't see many posts from me in the next few weeks, it's either because I'm busy spending time with my sweet husband...or because he is hogging my computer! :)

I know that God's hand has been in this, because everything seems to have fallen into place with no effort on our part. Even though Don was getting increasingly frustrated with his job, we were not seeking a new one, and yet God has handed him not only a source of income in these times when many are out of work, but an even better job that will make life more comfortable. His real dream, of course, is to own a gymnastics facility so that he can do what he loves, make a comfortable income, and spend lots of time with the family. But since we do not yet have the money to start or purchase a gym, this new job seems to be a step in the right direction: closer to home.

I am very, very blessed to have a hardworking husband who responsibly supports our family even when the work is frustrating, demanding, and difficult. Please keep him in prayer as he prepares to start a new job in a new place, and pray for me to be a fitting helper, encouraging him and helping him to succeed in every endeavor. Just as the husband in Proverbs 31 is respected at the city gates, I pray that my husband would likewise be respected for his integrity wherever he goes, and that my own character and works would add to the respect others have for him. I do not envy his responsibility to financially support our family and to be our spiritual leader. Instead, I thank the Lord for the great privilege and responsibility of being a helper to the husband He has given me. Whether I am packing his lunch, keeping his work clothes clean, teaching his children to respect their daddy, or overlooking an annoyance for the sake of harmony at home, I know that my role is important to my husband's success. May God give me encouraging words and a servant's heart to build up my husband as he moves into the next stage of his career!

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
Proverbs 31:10-11

The Praying Wife

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. - 1 Timothy 2:1-2

Admittedly, I am not the perfect wife. My labors at frugal-yet-nutritious cooking may fail to impress my I-only-eat-because-I-have-to husband, who would rather consume Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with sliced hot dogs than any whole food recipe I could possibly concoct. My pregnant body, with its bulging belly and likewise bulging varicose veins, may fail to catch his eye even when draped in my nicest (but still hopelessly tent-like) maternity clothes. My daily efforts to teach, train and discipline our children may go unnoticed when they argue, disobey, and ignore my commands to come. It's easy to feel like a failure at the very jobs I consider to be my highest calling.

As I prayed through a particularly trying moment yesterday, the Lord convicted me that prayer for my husband needs to take greater priority. Not just prayer for our marriage in general, but instead, a concentrated time of praying God's will in my husband's life. Ironically, when I asked him later the same day what I could do to be a better helper to him, he responded with a question: "How often do you pray for me?" I answered, "Every day," which was truthful, for I do offer some snippet of prayer for him every day, whether for his protection as he goes off to work, or for his encouragement as I rub his back after a long day. But what I need, God has encouraged me, is to make my prayers more purposeful.

As his wife, it is my honor and privilege to keep my husband covered in prayer. Right now, I feel lead to have the children join in praying for Daddy, too. I may teach them to say grace five times a day, but how often do I model intercession for others? There are so many struggles and challenges that meet my husband and our marriage daily, and I believe more than a fleeting whisper of prayer is required to combat these threats. A few years ago, I read and prayed throughThe Power of a Praying® Wife by Stormie Omartian, a helpful tool that addresses specific prayer needs. In fact, I think I may pull it off the shelf and go through it again. I need to pray for my husband's spiritual growth, his role as the leader of our family, his protection from temptation, his physical and emotional health, his work and hobbies, his relationships with me and our children and others, and so many other areas. What a great responsibility to be entrusted with the task of carrying these requests to the Father!

In prayer, I must be cautious to pray not for my own will or desires to be granted, but that God's Will may be done in my husband's life. As the Lord shapes his character in answer to my petitions, I will only find myself more in love with this man whom God has given me. And in prayer, I will find that I too am convicted and changed and forced to grow. I pray that God will develop in me a more gentle and quiet spirit in order to win my husband without a word. May I grow in holiness so that, regardless of small failures, my husband will know I am the perfect wife for him.

Do you have regular times of purposeful prayer for your husband or those in authority? Will you join me in the journey to become a faithfully praying wife?