Journal: Year Seven, Week One

Monday March 1, 2010
“I’ve worked you over for six years. Now I’ll take a Sabbath year off,” Don teased me this morning. As of sometime between yesterday and today, we have been married for six years. Inspired by our recent reading in Leviticus, we joked about celebrating our 50th anniversary as our Year of Jubilee. I decided that to help me remember our seventh year of marriage, I will write a few sentences every day to record the days’ events, and that I will share some of these entries on my blog to give my readers a glimpse into our lives.

During school time, the children and I finished our W-w-Water unit with watercolor paintings and started our two week I-i-Insect unit. Everyone has been sick a lot this winter, and I definitely have a cold. At bedtime, Don surprised me with an anniversary card under my pillow. (To let you know how unexpected this was, the last anniversary card he gave me was when we had been together for one month!)

Tuesday March 2, 2010
Donny and Hayden painted rocks to look like ladybugs. We took a quick trip to the library to get the rest of our insect books after picking up Hayden’s nebulizer medication at the pharmacy drive-through. (The drive-through is recent discovery which I am very excited about...no more unbuckling three children and dragging them through the store just to pick up a prescription refill!) I made a pot roast for dinner. Then the children watched the library’s “Way Cool Creepy Crawlies” DVD with Daddy. I am reading The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel. Don is reading Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker, a book recommended to him by an old friend from gymnastics who owns a successful personal training business.

Wednesday March 3, 2010
Today our toddler friends Madalyn and Riley came over to play, as they usually do on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. Lydia sat in her new booster seat that Grandma and Grandpa sent her. I made almond protein bars, which were tasty, but didn't settle well with me. The children, especially Hayden, coughed a lot and had poor appetites most of the day.

Thursday March 4, 2010
We baked bread and caught up on laundry. Donny practiced reading with Lesson 38 in Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Hayden wanted to participate too, so I did Lesson 1 with him.

Friday March 5, 2010
It was sunny and nice out today, so for the first time since November, the boys got to play in the front yard after we came home from our weekly grocery shopping trip. I baked Six Layer Bars (substituting crushed pretzels for the graham cracker crumbs, since I didn't have any) and Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies for Grandma’s birthday party tomorrow.

Saturday March 6, 2010
Don and our friend Bill went to get some parts to fix our leaky boiler while I watched Bill’s son Owen. After visiting with them, we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house to celebrate Grandma and Auntie Crystal’s birthdays. Then Don and I went out to celebrate our anniversary at the firing line. It was my first time shooting a real gun (a Glock 19 that we rented). I had not anticipated how exceedingly loud it would be or how far the shells would fly, but we had a good time. I was excited when, after some practice, I hit the center of the target!

Sunday March 7, 2010
We went to church for Sunday School, but because the children were coughing too much to go in the nursery or sit in the service, we decided to come home during church time. We read fromThe MacArthur Daily Bible, watched “Naaman the Leper” on the Bible Adventures DVD, and sang some songs while Don played the guitar. Don, Donny, and Hayden went to Auntie Shelly and Uncle Nathan’s house to meet their new golden doodle puppy. Then we went back to church for youth ministry. The children stayed with Don and I while we taught the 11th and 12th grade teens in our new small group.

A verse from this week's readings:
"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Mark 10:6-9

I praise God for six years of marriage to my amazing husband, and for the blessings the Lord has brought out of our adventure together!

Homeschool For the Birds

A couple months ago, Donny found Backyard Bird Watching for Kids on our bookshelf and wanted me to read it with him. He was fascinated by the information and continued to choose it for his pre-nap book every day, reading one chapter at a time, until we finally completed it. Now that spring is here, I wanted to use this interest to introduce a unit study of backyard birds. Read on for my list of bird-related activities that the children and I will be doing together this month.

Bible:
- Genesis 1 - God created the birds of the air
- Genesis 8 - Noah sent out a raven and a dove
- 1 Kings 17 - God used ravens to provide food for Elijah
- Psalm 8 - praise of God, who put man in charge of the birds
- Psalm 50:11 - God knows every bird
- Matthew 6:26 - God provides for us just like he takes care of the birds

Books (a few of them, anyway):
- Backyard Bird Watching for Kids: How to Attract, Feed, and Provide Homes for Birds nonfiction by George Harrison
- Birds by Kevin Henkes
- The Happy Egg by Ruth Krauss
- Today at the Bluebird Cafe: A Branchful of Birds poetry by Deborah Ruddell
- Birdsongs: A Backwards Counting Book by Betsy Franco
- What Makes a Bird a Bird? by May Garelick
- Everything Bird: What Kids Really Want to Know about Birds
nonfiction by Cherie Winner

Language:
- practice writing letter B
- practice pronouncing and spelling "bird"
- talk to friends and relatives about the types of birds at their birdfeeders
- learn songs or poems about birds
- Donny and I are also working our way through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons

Arts and crafts:
- create a milk jug bird feeder and hang in backyard
-build a bird house (probably a pretend one out of cardboard)
- make birds' nests treats with chow mein noodles, chocolate, and Peeps
- take pictures of backyard birds
- make a bird beak pop-up card

Science:
- read about characteristics of birds
- identify birds we see and observe their behavior
- listen to recordings of bird sounds (we found at a book/CD set called Know Your Bird Sounds at the library)

Math:
- interpret a chart of birds' favorite foods (in the Backyard Bird Watching for Kids book)
- count birds at the bird feeder
- create a chart to record birds we see

Other Possible Activities:
- watch Reading Rainbow: Birds of a Feather DVD from the library
- visit a local zoo or bird sanctuary to observe a variety of birds

Although we had the joy of watching a robin family outside of our apartment window last summer, it is even more fun to have our own yard so that we can hang a birdfeeder and see who comes to visit. The boys and I have already learned to identify some of the birds in our area, and we are discovering birds we never noticed before right outside our door. I am excited to continue our study of these friendly feathered creatures!

I know every bird in the mountains,
and the creatures of the field are mine.
Psalm 50:11

Literature for Library Lions

When I introduced our lion theme earlier this month, I promised to report back with our favorite lion books. Be sure to visit your local library if you want to check out some of these fun lion tales!



Tawny Scrawny Lion by Kathryn Jackson - If you can get past the illogical biology of a lion chasing kangaroos and rabbits who eat fish, this classic Little Golden Book is a cute, though ridiculous, story. Language that describes the lion looking "fat as butter, sleek as satin, and jolly as all get out" lends an amusingly dated charm to the book.

The Happy Lion by Louise Fatio - This 50 year old classic is my favorite of the lion fiction books that we read. The Happy Lion lives in a French zoo and enjoys visits from friends who say, "Bonjour, Happy Lion!" My library system only had this book by author Louise Fatio, but there are several sequels available through Amazon.

Roar!: A Noisy Counting Book by Pamela Duncan Edwards - While I wouldn't exactly classify it as high-quality literature, Hayden frequently requested this brightly illustrated counting rhyme about a lion cub who goes in search of playmates.

Andy and the Lion by James Daugherty - Another book that has stood the test of time, this retelling of Androcles and the Lion has a simple message about the power of kindness. The boys enjoyed the fact that Andy happens to carry a pair of pliers in his overalls, which he uses to remove a thorn from a lion's paw. My personal irritation with this book: the text is in all caps, and sentences span across pages, leaving little time to contemplate the illustrations unless the reader pauses at random times in the middle of a sentence.

Usborne's Daniel and the Lions by Heather Amery - Like many Usborne books, this Bible story can be read as a condensed book with the lines at the top of the page, or a more complete story by including the lines at the bottom of the page. With the possible exception of the lion's den illustration, it stays true to the Biblical account of Daniel in the lion's den.

The Story of Daniel in the Lions' Den by Michael McCarthy - This retelling offers warm watercolor and colored pencil illustrations. Even more impressive, the thorough account of Daniel's life is told completely in verse.

The Lion and the Little Red Bird by Elisa Kleven - Although the thoughtful, quiet lion bears little resemblance to the actual king of beasts, this unique story has a whimsical charm and captivating illustrations.

St. Jerome and the Lion by Margaret Hodges - This well-crafted retelling of a monk named Jerome and his tame lion has a subtle message about judgement and justice. Though the lion does not talk, his human-like actions and emotions are vividly portrayed through the words and illustrations. The lengthy text and darker, realistic paintings that illustrate the opposite pages make this book best suited for reading out loud to children over age 4.

The Life Cycle of a Lion by Bobbie Kalman - Of the several nonfiction books we borrowed, this one was our favorite thanks to its colorful, glossy pages and suitable amount of text. Donny really enjoyed listening to the accompanying CD and turning the pages at just the right time. Older children could participate in the "quick quiz" that asks questions to about the material that is being read.

And of course, there is the account of Daniel in the Bible, along with several verses that mention lions, including this wonderful reminder of God's provision:

The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
Psalm 34:10

It is so true! We learned the details of how lions catch their prey (and that they succeed in only three out of every ten hunts), and I do not envy their lifestyle...even if they do spend 20 hours a day lounging! How thankful I am that our God is faithful to those who fear Him. He fills us with such good things!

Looking for Lovely Literature

Although we do not celebrate Valentine's Day here, I decided on love (and hearts) as our homeschooling theme for the month of February. After all, love is the greatest commandment the Bible gives us, and certainly an area where both the children and I need growth. It is a value that virtually everyone, even those who are not "religious," believes in. So why, I wonder, am I having such a hard time finding quality books to read to my children about love?

Sure, there are dozens, if not more, picture books with "love" in the title. We have owned several of them...I say "have owned" because Don and I decided that many of them were rather useless when it came to actually teaching children about love. Stories like Love Is a Handful of Honey and I Love You With All My Heartmay have warm fuzzy illustrations of bears and bunnies, but the truth is, love is NOT a handful of honey. (Unless you're giving your last handful of honey to someone else out of love for them...but that's not what the book is about.) The popular Guess How Much I Love You(a title that we decided to send to Grandma and Grandpa's house for occasional reading) covers the popular theme of "I love you as much as..." But practically speaking, what does "I love you as high as I can hop" really mean? Even the classic Love You Forever, known for bringing mothers to tears with its repetitive verse, falls short. Is breaking into your grown son's home to sing to him while he sleeps really demonstrating love? It sounds a bit more creepy than lovely to me.

When we look to the greatest Book of all, we learn that love is not about red roses or furry hugs. Though countless passages of Scripture deal with this topic, the children and I have been focusing on 1 Corinthians 13, the classic love passage, and Romans 12, which details some practical applications of loving others. The Bible certainly has plenty to say about God's love for us and how He calls us to love Him and love others. But for purposes of illustration, where are the books that teach how love is patient and kind, love is not rude, and love honors others over oneself? Are there any materials in our local library - besides Veggie Tales DVDs - that show what it means to love one's neighbor?

And while I'm on the subject, would it be too much to ask for more children's books to be about, well, children? Talking trains and teddy bears have their place, but I would love to find more realistic fiction that relates to everyday life and values. My boys love books - in fact, at the moment they are engrossed in the latest stack we brought home from the library - but it would be nice to conclude a story session without having to explain the impossible elements to my very literal preschooler.

I wish I had a list for you of lovely children's literature, but sadly, my searches for supplementary books have not been successful thus far. If by chance you have discovered any quality picture books that teach the true meaning of love, please share them in the comments...and tell my library to stock them soon!

The earth is filled with your love, O LORD; teach me your decrees.
Psalm 119:64

A Definitively Good Time

Practice hospitality. - Romans 12:13b

How do you define a good time? Last weekend, Don and I invited some friends over for the three F's: fun, food, and fellowship. All of our friends and family live more than an hour away, so when they forfeit a Saturday and a half tank of gas to visit us, we appreciate it. We enjoyed grilled hamburgers for dinner and homemade pie for dessert, played board games (including the updated version of Clue we received for Christmas), and engaged in conversation inspired by The Complete Book of Questions. Don and I often use the book to pass the time during long car rides, but it is also a great conversation starter for group gatherings, especially since the questions range from light and simple to deeply personal and spiritual matters.

I had to think for a few minutes when it was my turn to answer, "What is your idea of a good time?" I am probably a little unusual in the fact that I can have a good time organizing closets, but my sincere answer to the question was simply: "This." I love being a hostess, feeding people, playing games, and talking with friends and family. In preschool we called it "playing house;" in high school we called it out "hanging out." Now a grown-up combination of the two is my definition of "a good time."

The same day, I finished reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald. If you have not read the book already, I highly recommend that you do so. (And if you have read it, go read it again!) Besides dispelling the myths of Christian feminism and reinforcing my beliefs that a woman's high calling is to be the keeper of her home, the book helped me develop a more detailed vision for my home. In fact, it is aptly subtitled "Fresh Vision for the Hopeful Homemaker." While I would already consider myself a pretty passionate housewife, I was inspired with thoughts of how I can use my home to reach out to and minister to others. My home is my center of ministry, and my primary job is to bless my family in my daily work. Beyond that, I can be a blessing to others by creating a welcoming environment where guests can find the embodiment of Christian love.

Then yesterday, I was blessed with an opportunity to be on the receiving end of such hospitality. As we walked into church on Sunday morning, a couple with four young boys introduced themselves to our family. When the service ended, they approached us again and invited us over for dinner! They explained that they lived quite a ways from the church, but they were having some other couples over and would love for us to join them too. Don and I debated about accepting the invitation, but we had no real reason to decline, and we concluded that the fellowship - even with people we didn't know - would be good for the whole family. As the wife jotted down directions on the back of a bulletin, I learned that they have not just four boys, but also three teenagers: seven children! "Oh, awesome!" I exclaimed, then explained, "We'd like to have a big family some day." Yet while I feel a sense of familiarity with larger families because I read about them in books, blogs, and magazines, I can't say that I have met many here in suburban New England. I was excited to see what a real "big" family looks like and discover how they live.

A few hours later, with homemade pies nestled safely in the trunk of our compact car, we crossed the border into Rhode Island for my very first time. I am a life-long New Englander, but somehow, I have never had any reason to journey to or through the tiny Ocean State. To my delight, our destination turned out to be a small farm in the woods, complete with goats, chickens, a sheep, and a pony. Inside, the old farmhouse was brimming with people and life. I was not surprised to see homeschooling books piled up in corners amidst jars of dry beans, baskets of potatoes, and spools of thread. There was nothing impressive about the house; it was crowded, the floors were stripped, and it certainly did not meet my ideal of "clean." Yet while the earthy atmosphere was in some ways completely foreign to me, it was comfortingly familiar at the same time. This was a home where real people work and play and eat and sleep and live - and for one day, I could be a part of it too.

My only regret of the afternoon was that I had not brought my camera. Kodak moments abounded as our boys fed corn husks to the goats, rode in the back of a tractor, and kept busy with the other children in the playhouse. We all ate - not in the more formal sit-down dinner style I had imagined - but with a casual buffet line and people grabbing a seat wherever they could find one. Then everyone, from toddler to adult to German Shepherd, went for a walk along the scenic bike path. We returned for dessert, tractor rides, and a bonfire in the backyard. I enjoyed talking with the other moms, while my husband, always the big kid of the party, became fast friends with the four boys we had seen that morning. By the time Don and I packed up our children and pie plates, we were already looking forward to seeing everyone again.

We arrived home late, tired, dirty, and smelling of bug spray and woodsmoke - yet incredibly refreshed. Besides the blessing of new friends and fellowship, we had been privileged to have a glimpse into a different kind of life: a life, in fact, rather like what I have imagined we might have one day. Lots of children, animals, land, friends...and love. Lots of love.

For now, our practice of hospitality will look different. But whether we have a broken refrigerator or a kitchen the size of a walk-in closet, we can invite guests to join us for food and fellowship. Whether we have wood benches on the back porch or a cheap couch that seats only two people, we can find a place to sit and talk, encouraging others with our conversation. Whether we have a gang of friendly children or just two playful toddlers, we can minister together as a family. Whether we live on a woodsy farm tucked behind the ghettos of Rhode Island or in a two bedroom apartment tucked behind a gas station and McDonald's, we are called to practice hospitality. Whatever the specifics may be, when believers open their homes to share, encourage, bless, and witness to others, the Spirit is there, and I cannot think of any activity that more accurately defines a good time.

Patience, Love, and Forgiving Hugs

I used to think I was a patient person. I rarely, if ever, got angry. Then I had a two year old, and the truth was revealed.

My two children are some of the most precious and beautiful blessings God has given me, but I am convinced that children are not just to be enjoyed. Parenting is a constant challenge to our character, a drain on our energy and patience, and a true exercise in learning unselfishness. It is only through the trials of parenting a toddler (and now two toddlers) that I have discovered how quick to anger I can be. I recently read She's Gonna Blow!: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger. While the book helped me understand that many mothers struggle with similar issues, the author focused on a more explosive type of anger than mine. For me, I may not be yelling at the top of my lungs, but I react to misbehavior in anger, words of frustration slip out, and after a string of such misbehaviors, I often convey a mood of general annoyance with the children. As the Lord convicts me in this area, I am realizing that loving my children has little to do with thinking they are beautiful and precious (what mother doesn't think so about her offspring?) and a lot to do with patience, sacrifice, and forgiveness.

Today's events were nothing extraordinary. I had a migraine and was busy trying to finish baking, wash the dishes, fold laundry, and start packing for our upcoming vacation. When I finished folding the boys' clothes just in time for lunch, I set them out on top of their dresser so that it would be easy to pack them later. The thought occurred to me that the piles might get knocked down and unfolded, but I decided not to worry about it as I moved on to the next task. After lunch, Donny was supposed to be napping, but like many days recently, I found him still awake. I was less than thrilled to discover a messy "accident" in his Pull Up (I use quotes because "on purpose" would be a more fitting term for a child who is well aware of his need to use the toilet). Then when I walked over to his dresser, I saw all the clothes I had folded...on the floor. I was angry - angry about the Pull Up, about the clothes, and probably a little bit about the fact that he was so wide awake and making no attempt whatsoever to take a nap and give me a few moments of peace.

After a few words indicating that this laundry unfolding was a terrible tragedy and an unheard-of offense (even though I knew it would happen), I stepped out the room to analyze the situation. WHY was I so upset about refolding a few tee shirts and changing a dirty diaper? I concluded: because it makes more work for me. When my children make a mess, I have to clean it up - even if they help - so I try to minimize messes. But am I so selfish that I cannot do a little extra work for the sake of my children without grumbling? Acts of defiance may bother me greatly and should be disciplined appropriately, but appropriate discipline is done in a gentle and loving way, not with anger or impatience or a defeated woe-is-me attitude. I would never talk to a stranger or a friend or a student with an exasperated tone, so why do I feel justified in speaking that way to my children? And besides that, unlike my peers and random people I meet, my children are learning from me. Since they spend nearly all of their waking hours with me, my words, actions, and attitudes are the model that will shape their early years. Do I want to teach them to sigh in exasperation, or to raise their voice if they have to repeat something? Of course not. Such behavior manifested in a child would merit discipline, because it would be rude. And love is not rude. Love gives selflessly, even if it means changing diapers that should never have been dirtied, folding laundry that you have already folded, or forgiving children for the same offenses that they seem to commit seventy times seven times each day.

Later that afternoon, I went in to clean up the laundry mess and pack the boys' bag for vacation. Surprisingly, I didn't have to refold anything - all of the clothes had stayed perfectly folded despite being knocked to the floor. I calmly placed the piles in the bag while Donny, eager to help, insisted on fastening the bag buckles. The chores were finished, my headache was gone, and the trials of the morning were forgotten with what Donny likes to call "a forgiving hug." Thank you, Lord, for forgiving hugs, and for teaching me how to love my children.

There are many Scriptures that would be appropriate for today's reflection, but the one that came to mind is actually posted in the boys' room next to Psalm 4:8 - ironically, right above their dresser. These fitting words from the familiar love passage remind me of my own little loved one, as I hear his toddler voice reciting them in my mind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-5