Pre-Move Ponderings

Well, praise God, Don and I actually own a house! We were finally able to close on Thursday, and planned to move over the weekend, but three straight days of New England snow successfully hindered our plans. Although it was disappointing not to be able to move in right away, the extra week is actually a blessing, because it has given me more time to pack, clean, and prepare for the move. Now as I sit surrounded by boxes and miscellaneous unboxed items, I am pondering what I will miss about our cozy apartment, and what I am looking forward to about our very own house.

I will miss having a master bathroom. Our new house has just one bathroom, and the toilet's flushing capabilities are questionable. Looks like we will be spending some of our Christmas money on a new toilet.
I'm looking forward to having a third bedroom. As our family grows and Don has the opportunity to telecommute, it will be great to have an office or nursery...or maybe someday a girls' bedroom.

I will miss our mail carrier - he's a friendly older man who always takes time to answer Donny's questions as he sorts the mail.
I'm looking forward to having our own mailbox at the end of our driveway. Bundling up the children to hike to the community mailbox (only to find junk mail, most likely) gets old very quickly.

I will miss having maintenance just a phone call away. It's nice to know that if a drain is clogged or an appliance malfunctions, it will be serviced quickly, and we don't have to pay for it.
I'm looking forward to being able to paint. After spending a few years with white walls, white trim, and white fixtures, I am eager for some color to brighten up our home. I have been having fun with the software on the Behr and Benjamin Moore websites that allows me to virtually paint a room - if only real color changes were that simple!

I will miss being able to vacuum our entire home from one outlet. The nice thing about living in a small space is that there are fewer rooms to clean.
I'm looking forward to hardwood and tile floors so that spills and toileting accidents are easy to wipe up. I certainly won't miss scrubbing milk and other unnamed fluids out of the carpet.

I will miss the open layout of our apartment, where it is always easy to hear what the children are doing, and from the kitchen I can easily talk to the children in the dining room or my husband in the living room.
I'm looking forward to storage space. Having an attic, basement, and a shed means I won't have to store the double jogging stroller in the living room anymore. And maybe my husband will stop complaining that our closet is packed to the brim with my stuff.

I will miss our friendly community and its convenient location, where I can walk to stores and restaurants. As far as apartments go, this is a very nice community, unlike the first apartments we lived in that smelled like grease and cigarettes, and the neighbors were constantly swearing at their yippy dog.
I'm looking forward to privacy. I won't miss seeing the parking lot six feet away from our windows, or hearing the neighbor's children make dinosaur noises at 10pm.

I will miss our low rent payment. Thanks to a state program, we qualify for reduced rent that has allowed us to save regularly while living comfortably.
I'm looking forward to building equity. How exciting to know that every payment we make will be deepening our ownership of our home, instead of just carrying us through another month in the apartment world.

I will miss this home, because memories were made here. Hayden has transformed from a fussy infant to a joyful, vibrant two year old here, while Donny has grown from a not-quite-baby into an intelligent four year old who understands almost as much as he says. We have entertained friends and family who were willing to make the long drive to see us, and Don and I have had time alone together to deepen the bonds of our marriage.

I am looking forward to our new house, because the memories there will be even more plentiful. I am looking forward to letting our boys play in our own yard and welcoming new children into our home. I am looking forward to entertaining our extended family and actually having room for everyone to sit down. I am even looking forward to the challenges of home ownership, because this exciting step is going to strengthen our marriage all the more. The boys love it when Daddy gets out his tools, and I have to admit, I enjoy watching my capable husband solve issues with a screwdriver, some wires, and his bare hands. Maybe I won't miss having on-call maintenance so much after all. :)

But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. - 2 Peter 3:13-14

This House

...should be ours tomorrow! I will be amazed if it finally works out after months of waiting and not knowing. Whatever happens, I take comfort in knowing that God is in control.

For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. Moses was faithful as a servant in all God's house, testifying to what would be said in the future. But Christ is faithful as a son over God's house. And we are his house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast.
- Hebrews 3:4-6

Needing Him Every Hour

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.
2 Thessalonians 3:16

I had anticipated a busy day of visiting, or perhaps a busy day of having visitors, but it was not to be. Instead, we had a quiet day of chores, a few errands, some making and eating of decadent desserts (Donny's cherry chocolate cheesecake pie, to be specific), and a few serious conversations.

In the evening solitude, while Don was out with the guys, I reflected on the day's events. I became painfully aware of my own inadequacy, and how desperately I need my Savior at every moment. I need His wisdom when I don't know what to do or how to help. I need His comfort when I am burdened with pain and sorrow. I need His Spirit to guide me when temptations and selfishness distract me. I need His Word to instruct me, encourage me, and even rebuke me so that I follow in His ways. I need His nearness in my daily tasks of cooking and tidying and reading books and tucking little ones into bed, to remind me that I am serving Him by serving His children.

As I contemplated all this, my heart was filled with the words of this precious hymn as though they were written for me:

I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
no tender voice like thine can peace afford.

Refrain
I need thee, O I need thee;
every hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee.

I need thee every hour; stay thou nearby;
temptations lose their power when thou art nigh.

I need thee every hour, in joy or pain;
come quickly and abide, or life is vain.

I need thee every hour; teach me thy will;
and thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I searched online for the history behind the fitting song. Both on the Cyber Hymnal site and this helpful blog, I read the account left by Annie S. Hawks, the author who penned "I Need Thee Every Hour" in 1872. She wrote,

"One day as a young wife and mother of 37 years of age, I was busy with my regular household tasks. Suddenly, I became filled with the sense of nearness to the Master, and I began to wonder how anyone could ever live without Him, either in joy or pain. Then the words were ushered into my mind and these thoughts took full possession of me."

Isn't that just what I should be - constantly filled with the nearness of my Master? His presence was discernible to me tonight, as it was to Mrs. Hawks more than a hundred years ago. My Lord has given me a much-needed reminder that He is always with me, not just because He loves me, but because I need Him. Though there have been countless hours - even days and weeks - when I was consumed with my own thoughts, sorrows, pleasures, and activities, there has never been an hour when I did not need a Savior. Every hour of every day He gives me, I need my Lord.

Years later, after the death of her husband, Annie Hawks wrote,

"I did not understand at first why this hymn had touched the great throbbing heart of humanity. It was not until long after, when the shadow fell over my way, the shadow of a great loss, that I understood something of the comforting power in the words which I had been permitted to give out to others in my hour of sweet serenity and peace."

Thank you, Lord, for the words of this song that touch my heart. In moments of peace and of moments of chaos, moments of joy and moments of sorrow, moments of hope and moments of discouragement, may I ever remember that You are near, and You alone will fulfill my every need.