The last few days have been relatively happy and peaceful. I am caught up on housework; I am seeing some improvements in Donny's behavior (which has been particularly challenging lately); and I am working on tweaking our daily schedule to allow me more time to read to the children and enjoy their company. The weather has been perfectly suited to my mood: sunny, very warm, with a gently comforting breeze. With so much to be thankful for, I can't help but morbidly wonder, What is going to go wrong? Everything is going reasonably well with our marriage, our children, our home, and our health. All of our appliances and our (one) vehicle are working, our bills are paid, and I get to spend evenings eating popcorn in my pajamas while typing on my wireless laptop. Yes, things are good, but knowing the nature of life, I don't expect it to always be this way. At some point, there will be bigger challenges to face: a move, a ministry, a health crisis, a baby, a conflict, an accident, a war? I'm ever aware that I cannot take this comfortable season for granted, but I am sure that God is using this time to prepare me for whatever it is that lies ahead. Like an inquisitive three year old (just ask me how I know about those), I get impatient and start asking What and When, but lately I can almost hear Him whispering:
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
Surely this is my time to be still, and to get to know my Savior and Shepherd. It is the time to be Mary at Jesus' feet, putting aside the busyness of the Martha world and listening to His voice. When the summer breezes kiss my face, I can be still and know that the Creator of the Universe is near, watching over me. I have a hard time doing nothing, but the tranquility of a sunny afternoon reminds me of the importance for my soul in being still before the Lord. Maybe He has blessed me with a few spare minutes in my day not just to catch up on chores, but so that I can spend some extra time communing with Him.
Donny wanted to see the baby robins today, but no one was home in the nest. I think they have moved on. Someday we will move too - maybe in March when our lease is up, maybe sooner if we buy a condo, maybe later if we decide to stay here another year. Truly only God knows where we will be by next summer. Did I mention that just today we have researched apartments and business schools near Don's work (his company will reimburse him if he goes to school while working for them), filled out paperwork to get information on a gymnastics facility that is for sale, and received a higher - but still not high enough - salary offer from the job in Texas? With glimmers of opportunities in so many directions, we continue to sit at the red light in the middle lane. I'm using the internet to look as far down each road as I possibly can, but even Google Street View can't tell me which path we will eventually take. As much as I long for a plan, I must be content - content not just because of my popcorn and picture books and the fact that all of my laundry is washed and folded, but truly content where God has placed me. Right now, he wants me in the middle lane. He is gently reminding me to "Be still and know." Wherever we go, whatever happens, I pray that I will know my Shepherd, and that He will be exalted in all the earth.