Lambs In His Arms: June 2011

In a way, it's nothing new. We have done this waiting thing before. We waited to hear about a job in Texas, we waited for direction on when and where to purchase a home, we waited for three months to find out if the house we wanted would be ours or not. Wondering what city and state we will live in next month or next year is a familiar feeling. In fact, it's not even a new thing to have a baby on the way without knowing what home she will live in after birth, or what state she will be born in. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 says, ...there is nothing new under the sun.

The newness for us is that we have never sold a house before. This particular brand of waiting includes weekly showings, continual tidying, and occasional home improvements as we strive to make our little home appeal to potential buyers. We keep seeing prices fall while houses with twice the square footage of ours go on the market for less. The optimism we had in February has been replaced with a lack of confidence in the current housing market. Will our home sell next week, next month, next year, or not at all? Only God knows. And so we wonder, and we wait.

In so many ways, I feel ready to move. I am ready for new adventures, new (and bigger) spaces to organize, new places to explore, new projects to tackle. I am ready to part with the imperfections of our current home: the messy yard, laundry in the basement, windows that need replacing. Besides this, it would be a relief to be done trying to sell. I boxed up many of our extra things to make the house appear less cluttery for showings, but after almost four months, I'd like to get some of those things out again. Our homeschooling maps, memory verse, and chore chart could go back on the wall. I could find the books, puzzles, and CDs that we are finally starting to miss. We could stop being prepared to make it look like no one lives here, and start living in our home again.

We do plan to resume some semblance of normal, non-selling life before baby comes. But only the Lord knows whether we will be moving across the country, across town, or simply tucking baby into a corner of our current home at that time. While we wait, I am trying to appreciate the beauty of these moments, enjoying the tidbits of summer peace after a long winter and cold spring. Robins, chipmunks, and squirrels continually hop and scurry across our yard; recently we have even spotted mourning doves, grackels, and woodpeckers. My favorite wildflowers have blossomed in the backyard wilderness. (I have no idea what they are called. If you know, please tell me!)

With a few more cleanings and chemicals (and the Lord's blessing of some warm weather), we may even be able to swim in the pool soon. Maybe. Or maybe some wonderful person will be so kind as to fall in love with this house, in spite of its imperfections, and open the door for us to move out and move on. And even then, there will be waiting - on paperwork, closings, mortgages, and a new home.

And so we wait, and wonder, and pray for direction. (And I'll admit, I may have prayed once or twice that this is the last time I have to haul out the vacuum 20 minutes before a scheduled showing to ensure that the floors are spotless.) It is hard to wait on God's timing when there is nothing I can do to move things forward, yet I know, both from theory and much experience, that His timing truly is best. While I wait to see where the upcoming weeks and months lead, I can trust that His hand is in everything. My limited vision sees only right now - my current plans, dreams, and desires. I am so incredibly blessed to have a loving, all-knowing Father to guide my steps, even when the only place I'm stepping is past a For Sale sign through the same front door.

In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

(and has older siblings)...

- She turns the pages of Green Eggs and Ham saying, "I do not like eggs. I do not like eggs, Sam-I-Am."

- She "reads" the toddler Bible by quoting lines from her brothers' recent reading assignments: "God made the world. ...But God was there."

- In the middle of a nap, while still mostly asleep, she suddenly calls out, "1-2-3, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-4-5-6-7!"

- You can't get mad at her for dumping out her beans or crackers when she exclaims, "Let's count them!" and immediately proceeds to do so

- She randomly announces, "Today is Monday" (whether it is or not)

- She doesn't want her own toys when she could "play pennies" with the money in the homeschool coin cup

- When the church nursery teacher seats her at the table and places a white paper towel in front of her, she doesn't realize it's for a snack - she thinks it is paper and says, "May I please have a pencil?"

- She would rather draw lines and circles (or "babies" as she calls her attempts at smiley faces) with a pencil than scribble with crayons